Show Notes

Ronald Young Jr. is the host of Time Well Spent and Leaving the Theatre and the associate producer for the Seizing Freedom podcast from VPM and Witness Docs.

To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BEST

TRANSCRIPT:

ZAK: Welcome to The Best Advice Show. Spring is here in Detroit. I'm grateful for the sun. Today's advice comes from Ronald Young Jr. And this is advice like all the advice on this show that you can practice as soon as you hear it. I think it's really simple but super important. Here's Ronald.

RONALD: So, I went through a break-up in September. When you're in a relationship you always have at least one person that you can talk to, lean on, stay stuff to. And my life feels like, and I feel like maybe to my detriment, feels so compartmentalized outside of being in a relationship that I don't really have...like sometimes I find myself outside of all my compartments. I don't have big group of friends that still hangs out. Like, I do from college but we're all separated now. So I feel like often, I'm a single person with no kids and unmarried so it's very often...and I feel like other single will probably understand this to. Especially when you live by yourself. People just don't...It's easy to be lost in the cracks. And I only mean in terms of social interaction and communication.

ZAK: I hear that. For sure. Yeah, that makes sense.

RONALD: You're married, right?

ZAK: I'm married and I have two kids. So, it's like the opposite. And I take it for granted. I take the morning conversation I have my wife totally for granted.

RONALD: Yeah. That's something I miss. Like, with my ex-girlfriend, I miss being able to talk to her in the morning or talk to her in the afternoon or chit-chat. But what I would tell you is that you probably have a single-friend out there who's just like me. Who lives by themselves, no kids...Just reach out to them. Just say, hey man, what's up. Hit 'em up. And if you really want to do a service, hit him up regularly. I have one or two friends that I know can count on I'll talk to, probably, a couple times a week but, it's different cause you get out there and there's no guarantee that I'm gonna have regular interaction if I don't seek it out, which feels like crazy at times. You know? Cause yours comes by default.

ZAK: Yep, it's a real effort that you have to make to reach out and it shouldn't fall on you entirely or even the majority. It should be, you know, reciprocal at its best, but right now, like, yeah being alone sounds really challenging right now.

RONALD: And to be honest, that's the first time I articulated it. Because I don't think anybody owes it to me to reach out to me. I just think that it is something like, when I was communing to work and I was getting coffee before I went to work at the coffee shop or going in and talking to the employees or even the people that cleaned the building. I had a friend in the mail-room who me and him would have these long conversations. So, you had all these incidental interactions with people and when you're a single person and you don't live with anyone. I don't have pets, kids...those incidental interactions are all gone and I think that's something that...And I know a lot of people and families are suffering cause they're getting sick of each-other. It gets challenging and all that. And I completely understand that. And that is its own struggle. But I just feel like those incidental interactions are important. And I'm an extrovert. And I didn't say all that to say the onus is on YOU to talk to ME. It's just saying, for a lot of us singles out here. We have to generate and then the other part is, when the depression and all that stuff sets in, it then becomes hard to generate that interaction. And so, even a, hey man, what's going on? What you up to? Just one of those is nice.

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